Looks appear faulty

If you asked anybody, "Describe Anderson Clayton in one word." I can hear the responses in my head, happy, bubbly, excited, sunshine, energetic, annoying, ecstatic, ext. The list can go on and on forever. No one sees that even though I smile, I'm dying inside sometimes. You compare yourself so much until you've lost all sight of your original goal to begin with. The people you tell eventually say your stupid for thinking the way you do, for chasing perfection when it's not there. I feel this every day though. The feeling that I'll never be good enough. I'll never strive like the others. I'll always feel like I'm one step behind. I'll always push myself further and further because I can't stop until I feel that sense of accomplishment. Even when I think I've reached it, someone comes along and makes it feel  like I've done nothing. I try to be happy. It goes along with the facade I put on every day walking into school. Maybe that's why I feel the need to dress the way I do. So I'll have something to boost my self-confidence when everything has destroyed it. I don't know. I cannot find the point of this blog other than to express how alone I feel sometimes. No one gets this strive of mine to be the best, and I'm afraid no one ever will.