Catching up

So I haven't blogged in a while. I guess its been a crazy couple of weeks for me. I'm not talking to the guy that I was "talking" to anymore. I told him I didn't have time to be dating anyone. It felt like the right decision, but I also feel bad, like everything I do ends up hurting someone. When I went to YLA, a certain person who I've had a huge crush on since the 6th grade finally noticed me. We spent that entire weekend together, and I felt like things were finally headed in the right direction. But I'm pretty sure I have no sense of direction seeing as he hasn't spoken to me since we got back to school. Not one text either. I don't know what to think besides the fact that he never really saw me. I was just a "fill-in" for what was to come. He doesn't know what he wants, and that's okay. The good news is, at YLA I was able to connect with my long-lost best friend, Emily. I forgot how much I missed talking to her. We started talking at YLA and it was like nothing ever happened between us. Sure, there are some dry spots, and we're no where near where we used to be. Somehow though, I'm okay with that too. I know she doesn't judge me on any decision I make, and it feels good to just talk to someone again.

I worry about one of my friends--if you can call her that anymore. One falling out leads to another I suppose. She's been distant, really distant. I wish I knew what was going on, because maybe there is something I can do for her. I think there's a lot I don't know, actually I know there is. She shuts herself up, and instead of letting in the light, the darkness surrounds her and buries her soul where no one can find it. She doesn't realize how intelligent she is. Or how bright her future is. Or how that one break-up shouldn't mean  hatred towards that one boy forever. I've learned that if you forgive people early on, the recovery process is much easier. Well, for me that is. I wish I knew how to let her know that she is something great, but I know that you can't make people believe in themselves. No matter how much support you show them, if they do not want to be of the darkness then they will stay there. People who don't ever see the bright side of things, never come out of the shadows.